Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
