yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
