dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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