So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
and you fell through a lawn chair
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