Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
