I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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