another moral hangover. fuck.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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