so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
