I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
