Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
