Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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