Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
