I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
