where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
