Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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