i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
