I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
