pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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