i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
