Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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