You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
