i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
