great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
