and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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