I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
