My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
