Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
