I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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