Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
