there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Someone came in the potted fern
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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