My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
