Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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