why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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