my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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