Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
