I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
