Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
