I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
