You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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