Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
