Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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