You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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