if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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