I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
