So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
