I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Semen is not good for contacts.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
