College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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