There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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