She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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