Christians are straight up FREAKS
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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