didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
