I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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